Overcome The Cringe of Self-Promotion (the REAL answer)
The Truth About Self-Promoting That Changed Everything For Me
Ahoy reader,
I wrote the first version of this letter 7 months ago, and was quite happy with it.
However, I never posted it…
But I did keep posting on social media. I did keep promoting my stuff.
And I realized, to my dismay, that I hadn't overcome my problem…
I still felt cringe sometimes.
I finally realized why that was.
How I Overcame The Cringe of Promoting My Work (The REAL Answer)
Let's be real.
Promoting your work on social media is cringe.
This is something I happen to know a lot about…
From posting freestyle raps, doing stand up comedy, dancing without a shirt on, sharing my poetry, to promoting businesses throughout the years… I know what it's like to “cringe” at yourself.
So much so I’ve become a certified cringe expert.
I could eat cringe cereal for breakfast at this point.
To pat my own back:
Through all my cringe-cleansing work, I also inspired one or another artist to show up more confidently the past year.
Guess it's my gift.
And this class is my gift to you.
This is a “Conquer The Cringe” Masterclass.
Yeah. Let’s solve that cumbersome problem once and for all. Not by some sugar-coated ooey-gooey crap — but by the most brutally honest wake-up calls we all need smacked into us from time to time.
Worry no longer. You got me now. And who better than me at delivering tough love truth jabs? No one. Always count on me to give it to ya straight. No BS style. That’s my niche. That's my value proposition.
So if you a real one, take notes. Bookmark this. Print it out. Put it on your bedside table or under your pillow… so you’re ready to defend yourself if that pesky cringe monster sneaks through your back door while you’re sleeping…
Jokes aside. This masterclass covers everything you need to know — A to Z to solve this problem in a broken-down, easy-to-read fashion. Just what I wish I had 9 years ago when I first started. It would have saved a lot of pain. Good stuff. There’s also gift for you at the end.
So buckle up.
How I Conquered The Cringe of Promoting Myself On Social Media
Why self-promotion feels uncomfortable…
Look.
It's normal.
It's so normal.
It's so fucking normal.
It's so got damn normal that we are biologically wired to feel that way.
Putting yourself out there in front of a thousand unseen eyeballs whispering their judgments behind their cold glass screens. That's scary shit.
We don't wanna push it too much, right? We might get kicked out the tribe and die.
That's what our primal brains think.
In fact, public speaking is the number one fear people have. Above spiders and snakes. And… even death, believe it or not.
That’s because we put ourselves in a vulnerable spot when we show up publicly in front of a crowd. Even online.
But in reality, there's no danger.
Take it from me:
No One Cares….
Except for a few close ones, no one gives a shit about you.
No one. And that's nothing to be sad about.
That means you’re free.
Free.
Free to be you.
Free to do your thing.
When you realize everybody’s busy up in their own skulls worrying about themselves and their messy lives, you can finally go create and share freely without considering so much what they will think if you should mess up, or be cringe.
Because they’re not thinking.
… About you.
That's the main thing I learned from being real on social media the past 2 years...
Is that… no one really cares.
No one remembers half the shit you post online.
And you will find people are gonna love you one day…
… and then ignore you the next.
Then love you again.
And then not.
And so on.
It keeps going.
Problem is, your mind might make you paranoid that people will just stop liking you forever and ever when you do something bad.
But the thing is – they won’t stop liking you forever.
Because you’re not a bad person.
Others judgments keeps changing aaaall the time. Up and down. Always. That's life.
Or as Emerson said back in the 1800's:
"the sour faces of the multitude, like their sweet faces, have no deep cause, but are put on and off as the wind blows and a newspaper directs."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
So why care?
Just leave it for a while and come back later.
… And focus on your own thing instead.
Let posting be downstream of you doing cool ass shit that YOU love.
And STOP getting in your own way by thinking about yourself so much. Please. Seriously. That's BAD for your mental health. And it doesn't help you at all.
When you're 20, you care what everyone thinks; when you're 40, you stop caring what everyone thinks; when you're 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.
Winston S. Churchill
… And:
People are more forgiving on you, than they are on themselves.
That's another truth. Just as you are more forgiving of other people's mistakes, you don't sit there and dwell on it.
Obviously people will NOT dwell on anything embarrassing you’ve done in the past. And even if they do, they will easily and readily change their mind and forget about it as soon as you show up fresh with new goods. It’s not like they want to think about that.
Keep that in mind.
Everything always changes. All the time.
And the most important thing is to…
Just Do Great Work
This will forever and always be number one.
When you’re worried about what people think of you, or what you did in the past, you lose focus on what really matter. Your life’s work.
But when you're focused on your work — you're not worried about anything else.
So you need to find something you can be that obsessed about.
Then you simply promote that and move on because you're more excited about the thing you're working on now — or the thing you’re working on next — than the thing you have done in the past, or what people think about it.
Getting into this kind of unstoppable enthusiastic momentum is honestly one of the best things you can do — as an artist, creator, or entrepreneur…
To not look backwards.
Only forwards.
But yeah…
Even understanding that it's normal and that no one really cares…
It can still be cringe.
Really cringe sometimes.
The more you think about it, the more cringe it is.
And that's the problem. Thinking.
Like standing at the edge of a cold pool. You're there trying to work up the courage to plunge in. But that makes it worse. Because now you're just working up the fear instead, making it seem much harder than it actually is. And once you're in the water for a minute, it’s actually quite nice… So it's about crossing that comfort barrier ASAP.
…But it’s way too easy to get stuck up in there. In the crescendoing of your own echo chamber. It's soo easy when it's just you and your phone alone in a room together… oof.
I know this all too well. 3 years ago I spent months making a song only to put it on my Instagram story a few times. Over the course of the next few years… I promoted it here and there, but nothing crazy. Well, as a result I got no likes or comments. I even sent it to friends only to have it left on "seen", and get no real response. This created a negative self-conscious feedback loop in my head that, damn, I must be awful.
But a year later, someone suddenly hit me up saying that one of the songs made them tear up. Someone else said it helped them deeply relax. Another said they had played it on repeat. That’s the strangest thing… Comments like that kept popping up — years after having created the songs and barely promoting them. That was mind-blowing to me. Because I was convinced I must be trash or something because none of my old friends resonated. That's a huge problem for a lot of people starting out. That their current circle is not supportive. And this could create an unpleasant negative feedback loop until suddenly – strangers from the other side of the globe starts fucking with you…
Man, I was in such a bad tribe back then that I would refuse to promote myself or my services too much. I didn't want to be seen as annoying, knowing that they would see my posts. I would constantly worry about what they would think of me. And this crippled me for years.
So how did I finally overcome it?
Well since lobotomy wasn’t an option, I had to try many things.
I outlined them all in this doc to help you youngsters coming up.
But you wanna know the quickest solution I found?
This is gonna sound crazy but…
And you’re not gonna like it…
The Quickest Solution To Overcoming Cringe…
Is to…
… DESTROY your reputation.
Like I said-
Crazy.
Doesn’t make any sense.
Terrible advice. I know.
But! by consciously doing something embarrassing, you will suddenly experience this new freedom to do whatever you want next time around… because you have nothing left to lose now.
Now you can really just be let yourself go completely.
Ahhh…
what an incredible feeling that is.
So liberating.
Now you freed up space to assume your true form.
It turns out the more you fear making mistakes — the more rigid and constricted you become.
But when you fuck up and own it — you suddenly become more comfortable in your skin.
"You can't be too cool because if you're too cool you're gonna freeze to death."
Tyler, The Creator
It's an interesting little paradox of life I’ve discovered.
It’s like breaking a bone. It’s gonna grow back stronger.
You come back more powerful, more expansive.
And as a bonus, you’ll experience extreme personal growth this way too.
Well, at least I did. Kind of like “shadow work” (if you know, you know)
By releasing yourself from the shackles of wanting to be cool and pleasing other people—you are given the power to create your best work.
And it is your best work that will be the timeless testament to your greatness. Not a fleeting social media post. So zoom out.
… But I guarantee for every 100 people reading this, maybe 1 person will do this (shoutouts to you!).
I personally did it by posting weird freestyle raps on Instagram…
… and by doing weird freestyle raps on open mics.
It stings a little knowing I will be misunderstood by some and seen as crazy. But it’s the good kind of pain. It made me stronger and I grew more from it than most self-help books I’ve read.
Anyway, moving on from this absolutely god awful advice that I definitely do not recommend…
The Second Quick Fix…
The other practical thing that instantly worked for me was breathwork.
Last year, I signed up for some breathwork classes.
And after just one sesh of that, I instantly felt more grounded, courageous and confident (I was literally dancing without a shirt on in a post). It was a total 180 degree shift from how insecure I used to be. Wild.
What can I say? Deep breathing therapy is the real deal, folks.
"Bioenergetics" is my personal favorite. It just works. But it’s super hard core to actually do, I warn you. Not fun. But if you're serious about a solution — Google “breathwork classes” in your city and sign up for one. This instantly takes you out of your messy mind, out of the cringe, better than anything else.
Through this, you literally shift your life energy from your head into your body.
Life-changing stuff.
Now – while those quick fixes definitely help — lasting change comes from shifting your perspective and outwitting the malevolent tendencies of your overthinking mind.
So let's walk through the 12 simple mindset shifts and strategies that will help you prevent the anxiety of promoting yourself for good. Let's make your mind more powerful today.
Mindset Shift 1: Exposure Therapy
Let me start with the slowest solution of them all: Exposure therapy.
Over the course of years of doing the same thing — you thicken your skin.
Like taking cold showers. If you could only have cold showers from now now until you die, at a certain point you would stop flinching, stop hesitating, and you’d just get in right away and enjoy it.
And just like a cold shower, it’s about becoming comfortable naked.
That is, comfortable with who you are, whether or not people like your undressed body or not. Being comfortable being that vulnerable. Slowly. Over time.
So the more you engage in exposing yourself and your work, the less awkward it feels.
Start small, be consistent.
Ya know.
While brute force exposure therapy works, it’s slow.
You can accelerate your progress much faster with the next couple shifts because they attack the root cause of the discomfort…
Mindset Shift 2: Don't Think
Like mentioned in the beginning:
Thinking is the problem.
Thinking is what creates self-doubt, worry, anxiety and… well, cringe.
The act of creation and promotion is stifled by too much thought.
I now keep a note on my desk that says "Don't Think"
For you smartasses out there: it's not that I literally “stop” thinking. It's by not allowing myself to overthink – and instead pushing myself directly into action and get some real work done that I overcome anxiety.
Action brings more powerful insights than spinning your wheels overanalyzing every little detail ever will. The best teacher.
Get into the flow state as fast as possible, leave little room for rumination.
If you're gonna think, think about this instead—
Everyone cringes. It's normal.
No one cares about you as much you think they do.
It will get easier with time.
Focus on what’s in your control. Focus on the act of creation.
And then think deeply about this third shift–
Mindset Shift 3: Why, Oh Why?
Ask yourself:
Why… do you do this?
If you have a strong why it will make everything easier for you.
Just like a good mom would do anything to save their kid.
You would do anything to create & promote your work if you have a strong enough why.
The stronger your why, the better.
My why is to inspire the world doing something I find meaningful.
My why is to bring light into this world by authenticity, courage, creativity & compassion.
My why is to try succeed at being me at all costs.
I return to this when I get lost.
If you can define your strongest why and keep it top of mind…
That's another way to prevent the cringe from paralyzing you.
It takes some time to figure that out though…
And it's okay if you haven't yet.
But it's a good question to ask yourself, and keep asking yourself.
Why do you want to share your work? … To make money? … Why do you want to make money? … To survive? … Why?
… Just keep asking "why?"
It gets you closer and closer to your deepest, most motivating why.
That's a journaling prompt, for ya.
Alright, alright.
Let's go on to the next mindset shift.
Mindset Shift 4: Be of Service
A rhyme to remember is this:
"It's hard to be nervous when your heart is in service."
Remembering this takes some pressure off of you instantly.
Think about serving the audience, not yourself.
Whatever you do, do it from a place of wanting to serve. Not from a place of ego.
You are promoting yourself and your work so that you can serve others through that work in some way. Hopefully. (Even if it just making them laugh, or giving them some sweet escapism on a lame Wednesday)
By reshifting your perspective towards serving, the spotlight is less on you, and more on the other. More about giving, less on receiving.
If you keep that in mind — it will help you conquer the crippling cringe.
Remember that rhyme, yo:
"It's hard to be nervous when your heart is in service."
And maybe put it somewhere you’ll see it.
It's just a great reminder.
Mindset Shift 5: Be Your Own Biggest Fan
Don’t just be the creator… be the fan. Plot twist.
Ask yourself:
Are you proud of what you do?
If the answer is yes — then you should be loud about it.
Be your own cheerleader.
You made something you love.
Fuck yeah!
That's awesome.
Now you're simply sharing what you believe in with others.
But if the answer is you’re not proud of what you do.
Well then… you shouldn't promote it.
Go make something you love first.
Make something that excites you.
Something you want to share.
Enthusiasm is contagious.
If you're not your biggest fan… that's a sign you're doing something wrong.
Why wouldn’t you like what you make?
The only reason to create anything is to make your favorite. The thing you wish existed. At least it has to satisfy your taste in some way, otherwise what’s the point? Right?
Next:
Mindset Shift 6: It's Just Part of The Job
Just like brushing your teeth everyday.
I'm sure you don't love to brush your teeth. But you do it anyway because you know it's important.
And now it's just what you do. No excuses.
That's how you should approach promoting yourself and your work.
Like brushing your teeth.
Make it habitual.
Become a pro.
Next:
Mindset Shift 7: Dealing With The Crickets…
Spending weeks on a masterpiece to have it released to crickets is not a fun feeling. It's a bit cringe when you were hoping for more. I know what it’s like. 99% of my art and content over the past 3 years has not gone viral. Has not gotten a lot comments, or likes. Most of my music fell on deaf ears. Most of my posts were scrolled over. Even when I was dead sure that it was the best thing ever made. Well. You see still see me out here doing my thang. Sometimes it goes well. Sometimes it doesn’t.
And that's just the twisted reality for everyone starting out…
Chris Williamson spent 2 years with his podcast Modern Wisdom before it became huge.
MrBeast made YouTube videos for 5 years to a tiny audience before he exploded to the biggest in the world.
Jack Butcher posted visuals daily for 18 months before his brand gained real traction.
Sahil Bloom wrote thoughtful Twitter threads every day for over a year before his following grew.
Daniel Allan posted his song “I Just Need” as 192 times on Instagram & TikTok before it blew up. (Imagine if he had given up after 100 tries, convinced the song just wasn’t good enough)
Van Gogh wasn't even recognized as a great artist during his lifetime. He’s now one of the most recognizable.
Growth ain’t linear basically.
It’s more like this:
This is p e r s p e c t i v e to all the artists out there who post once and then get discouraged that no one cares.
Keep posting. Keep promoting. Don’t worry about the day-to-day results. Don’t dig the seeds up while they’re still growing. Don't be a social media dopamine junkie.
Focus.
It takes TIME to do something great.
It takes even longer to be recognized for it.
Sucks. But that's the truth.
But on the bright side: By simply having an above average perseverance—you will rise. Because most people give up. You won’t.
Mindset Shift 8: Don’t Take Things Personally
It's not personal if people don't love what you do.
It's never personal.
Things either worked that day or they didn’t.
People either saw you, or they didn’t.
And that's out of your control.
So don’t worry about it.
Just keep pushing.
Don’t take it personally.
Mindset Shift 9: See Everything As Practice
Maybe your stuff does suck. So what?
That just means it’s a skill you haven’t mastered yet.
There's nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. You're simply practicing. You're growing. You're figuring it out. Just like everyone else. Just like every single artist or entrepreneur you admire did when they started out and became who they eventually became. Everyone has to go through the growing pains. Everyone.
Everything is practice.
Mindset Shift 10: It Don't Have To Be Perfect
This is the one I struggle with most.
I have a high standard, and doing anything less-than makes me cringe if I know I could've done better. I always strive to do my best. But I've learned that it isn't realistic to do your best in every area of your life at all times. It's better to settle for done than perfect sometimes. Done and good enough. That is how you're gonna be able to sustain your growth without burning out.
I now keep that as my mantra for everything I do to stop paralyzing myself: It doesn't have to be perfect.
It just needs to exist first. Then it can improve.
Slowly. Over time.
Mindset Shift 11: Have Fun With It
Don't take everything so damn seriously all the time.
That's a terrible life to live. Social media. Promoting. Posting. All of that isn't as serious as you think it is as at the end of the day. Have some fun on the journey. Enjoy the ride.
Last year I interviewed artist River Hooks, who was growing fast. She told me she had struggled in the past to show up on social media in a way that felt right to her.
This is what she said:
"I had to make social media fun for me. That's when it all started.
How can you make social media fun for yourself? In order for you to actually want to post and be happy and be authentically you."
She somehow made social media a place she actually wanted to go to and post every day. She curated her algorithm. She removed all the accounts she didn't resonate with. She figured out who she was and what she wanted out of life. All that was left was simply to do the work and enjoy it.
So have some damn fun with it.
Don't take it so seriously.
Mindset Shift 12: Be Sincere
Making Sure It's The Right Kind of Cringe…
The worst kind of cringe is when you're doing something inauthentic. Something fake.
Psychologically speaking, that creates "cognitive dissonance" in your brain which is a very unpleasant kind of inner tension.
Like forcing yourself to be enthusiastic on camera when you're just not that kind of person. Or when you're trying to sell something you know deep down is BS. It's like forcing yourself to wear another person's ill-fitting clothes and walk around in your hometown. You’ll stumble around like a fool.
Anything that's forced and unnatural tends to feel cringe.
So fuck that.
Find your natural channel and go all in instead
I used to cringe super hard back when I was cold calling mean old plumbers to sell some marketing services that I didn’t believe in. That was before I realized that writing and helping artists and creators is where I really shine.
If you're gonna walk through the fire, make sure you bring your true self with you on the ride.
When judging your work, the question isn't "was it good or bad?", the question is “was it sincere?”.
That's the bar you set.
Make it sincere.
Everything must be a sincere attempt.
It must be true to you in the moment of sharing.
If it isn't—you will experience the worst kind of cringe there is.
If it is—then that cringe is far better.
Alright. We’ve covered a lot of ground here.
Not a lot left…
Now that we've covered the principles — let's get tactical with 3 actionable steps that might help you tremendously.
3 Powerful Pieces of Practical Advice:
1. Block Them Bitches
Some creators struggle with social media because of specific people in their lives.
I used to have a couple people like that in mind that, for some reason, I was really uncomfortable sharing my work if I knew they were gonna see it.
My solution? I removed them.
This allowed me to show up more easily.
And if your old friends aren't supportive, maybe it's time to make new friends, more aligned with your interests, goals and values.
You can still be friends IRL, but if they make you uncomfortable online, consider blocking them. Even family. Seriously. If you keep having a particular person in mind that makes you hesitate every time before posting — making you feel you're not safe to be you — delete them. You have zero obligation to have them there.
You can also just create a new account if that makes more sense. A fresh start.
2. Turn Off, Log Out, Unplug….
Turn off social media for a few hours after posting or promoting something vulnerable.
Constantly checking for results just makes it worse…
Uninstall the app.
Use URL blockers on your computer.
Turn off.
Go for a walk in nature. Touch some grass. Listen to some music.
Don't even check until the next day.
Because at that point, you will have moved on more and whatever the reception, you're now in a more powerful place to deal with it.
Don't scatter your force by constantly checking your social media notifications…
Focus on your work instead.
3. Set up A System
To be honest:
I hate social media.
I don’t like spending 3 hours on a post that flops. I don't like accidentally getting lost in a doom-scroll and allow an algorithm to dictate my mood.
I like peace. I like making art. Or reading a book. Or taking a nap. Or literally anything but social media!
This lead me to create a simple promotion system to solve my own problem.
A system that allows me to consistently create and plan content promotions with minimum time, effort and cringe every single week.
That means I can actually spend most of my time creating my life’s work, post about it, all while spending less time being self-conscious on social media. All without working harder or hiring an assistant.
If you want to learn more about that, I have made a minicourse where I explain and show you the ins and outs of my simple system. To get access to the course — simply become a paid subscriber and you’ll get it as soon as it’s out. On the pre-launch in 7 days. If you want more info about that, scroll down to the end of this letter!
Are you ready to crush the cringe?
Pure information is great. But it ain’t always enough. Sometimes we gotta get our hands a lil’ dirty too.
So I put together a simple but powerful workbook for you to easily apply what you've learned here and overcome your own block.
The 15-Minute Cringe Crusher Workbook
A free 9-question worksheet to help you instantly identify and overcome your self-promotion discomfort.
Get it for free here.
The Overcoming Cringe Manifesto
Through this masterclass, we've covered many effective principles, mindset shifts & strategies for overcoming the promotion anxiety.
So I went ahead and distilled everything into a neat one-pager manifesto for easy access.
It’s a concise declaration of all the principles that will give you instant clarity whenever posting or self-promotion starts to feel uncomfortable again.
Click here to view or download it (no email required!)
Feel free to print it out or bookmark it so you can keep it handy for those moments when the cringe starts creeping back in!
Where I Am Now…
So to conclude, I still feel that twinge of cringe sometimes.
I wish I could say I'm all perfectly cured now.
But that would be a lie.
That shit doesn't fully go away to be honest.
But there's a big difference now.
Now when I feel it, I see it for what it is.
I remind myself of the truths in this masterclass and I’m back on track within minutes.
Remember: it’s normal to feel a little anxiety, self doubt, fear and cringe. It’s human.
Thank you for reading.
Stay brave and beautiful,
Robin Mo
PS.
Every day you struggle promoting your work is another day your work isn't reaching the people who need it most.
This feeling never disappears but we gotta choose courage